Mental Ilness and ME, a guest post by Biddie

I read something recently about a 'friend' that suffers from mental illness that refers to herself as 'crazy,' and having 'the crazies.' I wonder who this person is talking about???



Holy transparent, Batman.



Does she really think that I am THAT stupid? I really shouldn't even respond, I know, but I feel as though I have to.



Firstly, I AM bi polar. I AM mentally ill.



Am I crazy? Probably not. I read somewhere that truly crazy people never question their sanity. I question mine all of the time.



I am NOT some poster girl for bi polar disorder. That is the LAST thing that I ever want to be. What I am is a mom, wife, friend, & sister that struggles with this debilitating illness everyday, every minute, every nano second that I am awake. If I choose to refer to myself as crazy, then that is my perogative. It is much easier for me to call myself crazy than to say



I spent all in bed thinking about ways to kill myself today. OR.. I cried all day today, and then had a panic attack because somebody knocked on the door when I was home alone.



See, that is what I deal with. Nobody needs to hear that day after day. It becomes boring, and tiresome, and even I get sick of that. I would much rather make light of my situation. That's what I do. I use humour.



Just because I use that term, it certainly does not mean that I think of other mentally ill people that way. I would hate to think that anyone would be small minded enough to take my comments and think I am representing ALL bi polar people in the world. How sad for that person. I do not represent that percentage of the population anymore than my daughter represents all Diabetics.



Some people look at me, and think because I am not doing things on their schedule, that I am not helping myself. On the contrary. Everyday that I make it out of bed, that I post a blog, that I do laundry, make dinner, I am helping myself. My illness cripples me most days. That is MY reality.



I fought long and hard to get my disability benefits, and to get a shrink. I DID not give up, even when I was denied the first time. The only people that do not take me seriously are the people that are pompous enough to think that they know all there is to know about mental illness. My shrink, my therapist, my close friends have all taken me seriously.



I have NO responsibility to be politically correct. This is MY blog, MY opinions, and MY thoughts. If I offend you, then DON'T READ MY BLOG. It's not rocket science people. How I deal with my condition is my business. Whether I use dark humour, sarcasm (Shawn doesn't call me Sarcastro for nothing), or I am cynical, that is up to me. I don't dictate how other people deal with their issues.



Isn't this what blogging is all about? I think that this person has missed the bus when it comes to blogging. This is my therapy. This pseudo intellectual over analyzing persons comments take the healing aspect out of blogging and reduces it. Maybe people like this should take a look at themselves and what they are blogging about before they comment on anyone else. We all have our own opinions and somebody out there will find a reason to take offence.

This is my illness. I will deal with it my way.